Longing for Connection? Think Sex, Dogs, and Babies, Not Girly Thoughts

June 12th, 2015 | Posted by Patricia O'Gorman, PhD in Body Image | Girly Thoughts | Health & Wellness | Sexuality | Women's Issues

The more you engage and connect, the more engagement and connections you will have. ―Loren Weisman

 

A common theme in psychotherapy sessions is connection. Women share that they want more connection, particularly with their intimate partners. But the way many women go about this is often self-defeating because they feel they need to fix some defective within themselves.

This is a toxic girly thought. The obnoxious way we women treatment ourselves deserves an obnoxious name.

 

The Source Is in You, Not in Your Girly Thoughts

 

But what if you already have something in you that allows you to feel an inner rush with another, something he also can feel? The good news is that you do. It’s in your hormones and in the hormones of that special someone: its name is oxytocin.

 

Yes, the same hormone that creates that inner warmth and potent connection you experience when you are having sex, nursing your baby, or petting a dog or cat can also help you connect with someone who you feel may be special, and it can help that person bond with you, too.

 

Don’t Waste Your Energy

 

Oxytocin is the connection hormone. So the next time you want to connect with someone you think is special, instead of using up your energy telling yourself you are not so desirable and he’ll never like you, think puppies, not girly thoughts.

Read how this approach of consciously using oxytocin is even working with our veterans at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center to create intimate bonds during healing: http://www.upworthy.com/the-therapy-dogs-at-walter-reed-are-not-magic-ok-maybe-a-little-bit?g=2&c=upw.

 

 

 

 

Remember, you’ll find more ideas for getting rid of your negative self-talk in my latest book, The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power.

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