Many people want to know if male love addicts differ from female love addicts. The answer is yes and no. For most part male codependent men exhibit the same symptoms as women. However male love addict do have some differences.
For one thing, more men than women get violent when rejected by someone , This is especially true of narcissistic love addicts who were rejected by their mother. Codependent men try to “fix” women , not hurt them.
Male codependents are also more ashamed of their love addiction and don’t seek treatment or want to talk about themselves. I call them “closet love addicts.”
When a man is rejected by his mother, he is hurt more because she was his primary caretaker. Women are wounded by their fathers but only when they are older after they have already attached to the mother. When the bond is broken between the primary caretaker and the infant/child, they develop attachment deficit disorder.
Finally, men get more desperate than women and are more likely to commit suicide. All love addicts get depressed, but guys really think that life if not worth living without their love object because it is like his mother leaving him all over again.
Recovery for male and female loves addicts is the same. You have to admit that you have a problem and reach out for help. Then you have to change how you think and behave. Finally, you have to work on your low self-esteem so that you will not settle for less than you deserve when it comes to relationships.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW is a Radio Host, Certified Transformation Coach and author of the award winning book The Law of Sobriety: Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery and Ecourse. You can take her quiz to find out if you are co-dependent or sign up for a 30 minute strategy session with Sherry. Check out Sherry’s new book The Marriage and Relationship Junkie: Kicking Your Obsession.