How Do girly thoughts Develop?

September 2nd, 2014 | Posted by Patricia O'Gorman, PhD in Adolescents' Issues | Body Image | Girly Thoughts | Women's Issues

By Patricia O’Gorman, PhD

Author of

Girly Thoughts Detox
The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power  (publication date 10.28.14)




The Resilient Woman

The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power (2013)




Healing TraumaHealing Trauma Through Self-Parenting—The Codependency Connection (2012)




I’ve often been asked – how do girly thoughts develop?  Some women think that perhaps they began thinking this ways as a teenager, or even earlier if they developed puberty while they were in elementary school.  The truth may surprise to you.


Your girly thoughts in the Beginning

It may be a rude awakening for some of you to really think back and see when you did began to think girly thoughts, because you are very likely to be able to trace it to much earlier than you thought.

A woman who I spoke to a couple of weeks ago shared that she thought her four-year old was having girly thoughts. What was happening?  Her four-year-old daughter told her “I know I’m going to be popular!”  Her mother was excited.  Why?  She asked, is it because you’re smart, helpful, a good friend?

“No.” her daughter said smiling and twirling her hair,  “It’s because I’m blond.”


A Focus on Fashion Instead of Sports

Even as young girls we become aware of what is acceptable and what is not.  We receive lots of positive feedback for being pretty, being quite, and most of all being good…. But what this translates into may surprise you.

As a friend of mine, a man, who is the principle of an elementary school shared with me that he dreads spring.  Why?  Bare midriffs, short shirts…. Why do mother’s buy this stuff?  He doesn’t know how relentless your girls can be about being acceptable, he has a boy.  But why do mother’s give in?  We have our own girly thoughts, and so the cycle continues.


What to Do?

Watch my video where I give tips on what to do about your own girly thoughts, then put them in action and let me know what new strategies you are developing.


Patricia O’Gorman, PhD, is a best selling author, psychologist, resiliency coach, former executive, and an international speaker known for her warm and funny presentations. She is the author and coauthor of nine books, including The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power (publication date 10.28.14), as well as numerous articles in magazines. Watch for Dr. O’Gorman’s newest book A Man’s Guide to Girly Thoughts, and Out Your Girly Thoughts and Embrace Your Strength—A Resilience-Building Curriculum will be available in 2015; visit for more information.

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Patricia A. O'Gorman, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice. She is noted for her work on women, trauma, and substance abuse and for her warm, inspiring, and amusing presentations that make complex issues accessible and even fun. She has served as a consultant to organizations across the country in preventative and clinical strategic planning. Dr. O'Gorman is a cofounder of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics, and she has held positions ranging from director of a rape crisis center to clinical director of a child welfare agency, and director of the division of prevention for the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). She is a veteran of numerous television appearances, including Good Morning America, Today, and AM Sunday and is the author of eight books including: The Girly Thoughts 10 Day Detox Plan (2014), The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power (2013), and Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting (2012) 12 Steps to Self-Parenting.

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