According to Women’s Health, having celebrity status along with being rich and famous, increases the odds of cheating in a marriage. In fact the same article says that “men are more likely to be hypocrites about their behavior” and in fact are “hypocrites” in terms of judging others who cheat.
As the news broke today of Eva Longoria’s filing for divorce due to her husband, Tony Parker, allegedly having an affair with the wife of one of their mutual friends, I couldn’t help but wonder if sex addiction is at play here. Apparently she found texts that had been going on for over a year between Tony and this woman. So is this the case of another high profile man who has a sense of entitlement due to his celebrity/sports figure/politician status? Are we dealing with another sex addiction issue similar to Tiger Woods, Elliott Spitzer, Bill Clinton, Mark Sanford, or John Edwards?
As an addiction specialist in all addictions, sex addiction can be defined as a progressive intimacy disorder that consists of compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, there are negative consequences on the addict and on their family. The addiction progresses over time and eventually their needs increase as an effort to receive the same results. In other words, just like an alcoholic needs more alcohol when they build up a tolerance, the same goes for all addictions, including sex addiction. Did Tony Parker’s texts increase as time went by and can you call that a sex addiction? Was there an emotional component to this relationship? Some say even an emotional affair is cheating.
Although there are no signs that Tony Parker has a sex addiction, as a psychotherapist who works with addicts, I can’t help but think are there going to be more women popping up as time goes on. The following are the signs of a sex addiction:
1. Often have more sex with more partners than intended.
2. Focusing much of their time in sex related activities such as scoping out partners or frequenting online porno sites. Could obsessive texting to one’s lover be a sign of a sex addiction? Possibly if it is excessive enough.
3. Wanting to stop the behavior but can’t. They become powerless over the addiction.
4. Spending less time with usual activities such as work, family life, or education.
5. Continued use despite relationships ending because of the behavior. (Clearly the case with Eva Longoria filing for divorce).
6. Feeling very irritable when not able to receive the effect they desire that has most likely become progressive.
7. Continuing behavior even though there are negative consequences.
Three or more of these may indicate a sex addiction.
Unlike other addictions, the primary purpose for seeking treatment is not lifelong abstinence, but instead stopping the compulsive sexual behavior. There are treatment centers that specialize in sex addiction or a qualified Psychotherapist may be extremely helpful in treating the disorder. It is recommended the person abstain from sexual behavior for at least 60 to 90 days like most programs. This gives the person time to peel the layers back of any trauma or other emotional issues that may be underneath the addiction.