Sexual politics run deep in our responses, even in casual meetings. We act like “dutiful little girls” in our responses, and in an almost instinctive reaction, we do to ourselves what society has taught us to do. This reaction, which I’ve named girly thoughts, is one I fight against, and I’ve coined the term and …
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I’m so excited . . . I’ve been invited to speak at the State University of New York (SUNY) at Potsdam on April 16. I’ll be addressing a group of students from 7:00 to 8:30 pm in the Fireside Lounge of the Barrington Student Union about hitting gender issues head on. I was invited …
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If you don’t know yet, Monica Lewinsky has gone public with a Ted Talk. It is well worth seeing because she does what I’ve been inviting you to do: Stop listening to your girly thoughts; that toxic inner dialogue that blames you for anything that goes wrong in your life. Monica’s Courage …
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In my previous posting to this site I discussed the ways in which men who engage in sexual infidelity justify their behavior. Essentially, they tell themselves that what they are doing does not qualify as cheating because they’re only hooking up online, or they’re only having oral sex, or whatever. They seem to think that …
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He loves me, he loves me not? The bigger question is: Why do I care so much? Well the BIG Day—Valentine’s Day—has come and gone. This day of tension, caused by the painful and anxious feelings produced by your girly thoughts telling you that your lovability is going to be demonstrated by what your …
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There is a crack in everything . . . that’s how the light gets in. —Leonard Cohen There is something about a holiday—and Valentine’s Day in particular—that makes us focus even more than usual on what we see as our faults. It must be the connection between our powerful, emotional needs for love and the …
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In my previous posting to this site, I wrote about the reasons that women sometimes engage in sexual infidelity, promising that I’d take a look at men in this week’s blog. So, as promised, here is part one of my take on male cheaters…
In the pre-Internet days of yore, defining sexual infidelity was a pretty straightforward endeavor. If a person was having sex outside his or her supposedly monogamous relationship, then he or she was cheating. Sometimes therapists had to explain to people that yes, oral sex still counts as sex (see: Bill Clinton). But in general those …
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’Tis the season, with lots of expectations of what you should do, how you should look, and what you should give when gifting. No wonder your girly thoughts, that toxic self-talk that tells you what to do while simultaneously telling you you’re not doing it correctly, have a field day here. In my latest book, …
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